inconsistencies on the first few pages.

a) word play, pretty much. Yes, Earth.
b) Oooh. good idea. (How did I miss that ... I even set it up... sorta) thanks!
c) The "voice" is a tricky subject. Perhaps I should make another board.
d) "Tyzlane Staff" -- that was him suddenly remembering it, its name.
e) He's the teacher, he's quite old. That's what they called him "behind his back" like we called our P.E. teacher 'old leather legs' -- we also thought she was a lesbian (why not?)
f) Metric system. yes. I have choices like this: 1 Make something up. 2 use olde englishe measurementes. 3 use 'imperial' system (feet, inches, etc) 4 metric -- if I use metric the only ppl 'confused' are stupid Americans and I'm one of those, so... -- the truth is, I have to be consistent, else, Idk.
g) Yeah, I feel like I should have 'editor bingo' that'd be the center square, I suppose. I think 3 ppl have pointed that out. But again, the voice is a tricky subject. Why /not/ talk to the audience using their language? It's cartoonish either way.
h) now I have to find that particular couple of words. I wouldn't be the right person to ask, as I have to re-read the whole thing every time I make an addition.
i) no. not 21st century. That's just me winking at the audience. 'wink wink, zombies eat brains'
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Incidentally someone else pointed out the Sol and Luna vs "The Sun" and "The Moon" thing -- and yes, they're both names for the same objects. I'll try to use Sol/Luna when I'm being prosaic and "The Sun"/"The Moon" when the people are talking/perspective/time of day, etc.
-r
-=-

Certainly the zombie reference is really odd, It's like an actor falling out of his role in a Mel Brooks movie, blinking at the audience. I really don't think it works well here.